I admit that I was slightly terrified, okay more than slightly, to go ahead and create this little online view into how I see the world. But what scares me even more is being on my deathbed one day and having to call myself out on my chicken shit regrets. So sometimes, you just gotta jump into the water, even when it’s nipple freezing cold. You know, just drop your knickers, run off the dock, jump and have your ass hit that icy coldness and sink right in.
While you are plummeting to the bottom of the lake, your range of awareness may go from “what have I done?”, to “I can’t breathe” to “I’m going to sink like a GD rock”. But then something magically happens if you relax; you start to rise. As you get closer to the surface the water starts to feel warmer, your limbs less numb and if you are brave enough to open your eyes, you will even see the light.
Then, in what seems like forever, you break through for that sweet, delicious first gulp of air. Now you may have peed just a little and/or have your mascara running down your face but I guarantee you will also have a shit eating grin*on your face. You did it! It may not have been graceful, poetry in motion or even funniest video worthy, but you did it. And I’m willing to bet that a perverted part of you secret self can’t wait to do it again.
So here I go, dropping my knickers…..
*I’ve never quite figured out why exactly this expression became popular, because in my opinion, eating shit would not cause a pleasant, sunny facial expression. If you know, please do share.