One of my guilty pleasures is a gel manicure. Love them, last for weeks and keep me hands ladylike, which I know would make my Gram smile.
So I was sitting at the manicure table the other day and the woman at a table across from me sounded like this…….
“We have to get up at 6:30 to get them out the door for 7:30 to be at practice, then Tuesday and Thursday it’s this practice til 5, home for dinner then back to the arena for this, it’s so busy! Then on Monday and Wednesday, it’s even busier, it so crazy! It’s up and out the door by 7 to get them to this and then after school til 6 for that, it’s so busy. Then weekends – well alternating ones are this, then so busy doing that, then even though I am so busy I do this and this and that, and then we go here and oh my that’s so busy because we only have this much time to get there and then there’s that right after this and so on and so on…”
Now the other reason I go to get my nails done is because it’s an hour to shut down. I get to have someone pamper me. I turn off. It’s about self-care ultimately. And amongst the midst of my oasis all I can hear is someone complaining about how busy they are…for an hour…she went on for the full hour.
I wanted to scream, “Listen to yourself because right now you’re forcing me to and it’s exhausting. What’s more exhausting is trying to hold myself back and not kick you in the snatch. For fu*&s sake shut up with your busy self glory whore stories so the rest of can enjoy the sound of the GD crickets.”
You may think it’s all about learning to manage your time better or learning to say no but I don’t think that’s really the answer. Why? Because we are taught and encouraged that being “busy” means that you must be someone important and be doing really amazeball things. And it is this association we must consciously choose to unlearn.
So where do you start?
- Try changing your language around this whole busy-ness bullshi&^. Instead of complaining about it, catch yourself when you are talking about your busy and state it as something like this “My plate is very full at the moment and I wouldn’t have it any other way”. This is a good way to test yourself to see if your inner bullsh&$ alarm goes off. If it does, you have a problem with your busy.
- Own that it is your choice to be busy. Look at all that is on your list in a week and really think about why you do it. If you have your children in ten activities because you want to give them every opportunity, great – stop complaining about it. Change your story to one of gratitude for having healthy, active children and to you having the ability to be able to offer them all of these opportunities.
- Admit that, maybe, you secretly like it when people say “Wow – look at ALL you do”. Our egos like when people think we are fu&%ing awesome. Is the reason you are so busy tied to your self-esteem? Does it validate you in some way?
- Ask yourself this – maybe by being so busy it means you don’t have time to listen to your own true voice and deal with the tough stuff that busy clouds over. The stuff that is buried deep that is hard to deal with. The stuff that if you spent some time working to let go of would allow so much more light in.
- Realize you can choose to be less busy.
If you try any or all of these and still consciously choose to be busy because you simply love all you are doing, well then amen and bless your busy little soul. Please revel in the fact that you love all you do and communicate that accordingly. But, if you find that it still sounds more like you’re standing on a street corner trying to push your busy and promise me a happy ending, then please stop the glory-whoreing. Look at your real reason for being so busy and figure it out so the rest of us can stop hearing about it at the spa.
P.s. The reason I understand this busy glory whore-ing all so well is that I too, use to be a glory-whorer of the busy. I am happy to report, although tempted at times, I am on the road to a full recovery.