Success. The word by dictionary definition is as follows:
noun – the accomplishment of an aim or purpose; the attainment of popularity or profit; a person or thing that achieves desired aims or attains prosperity.
Okay, so this definition doesn’t sit all that well with me. If I get it finished with applause and pay off – then I’ve attained “success”? Seems to me this could this be one of the reasons we all seem to get sort of fu*&ed up when we focus on “success”.
Because as a this is the more rebellious Little Sister (and yes, I started a sentence with because) I say down with this success definition and it is time to figure out how do YOU define success? What does it actually look like to you? If you don’t know what it looks like to you how can you cartwheel when you get it? AND how do you let go of what “they” say success is?
Not sure where to begin? Try this:
- Write down what success looks like.
- Ask yourself why YOU deem this successful. I find when I buy into some bullsh*% packaged idea of success this question in unanswerable. Seriously if you can’t answer why you think something credits the “success” title stop right now and go back to #1.
Please note if your answer to question #2 involves pleasing anyone else —– eject!!! and return to question #1.
Until you can answer these questions and figure out how your view of success has meaning to you, just keep returning to question one.
Are you having some problems with this? Are you sitting there with your pencil becoming more dull by the minute or your computer battery running low and you are no further ahead on creating your definition of success?
Here’s a tip: Break it down to specifics. Forget the big picture. Ask yourself how do you define success in this moment (today – right NOW) so that at the end of this day you are able check in on your success?
A little example: Your idea of success on one front is creating a healthy, loving family life. Woo hoo awesome! You’ve got that in your head and then you open your bedroom door to see your kid has pooped in the hallway (oh I’ve heard this can happen); you open the door and it’s quiet because all your family lives across the country or the world; you open the door and you don’t have family as in the related to you sense.
You may not have woken up with the family success story you’ve told yourself in the past. Your options are you could feel bad about your “failed attempt at success” because Disney isn’t going to call to turn your family story in to a movie of the week or you could say f&$k it and make the extra effort to call or text a relative; prioritize playing with your kids (after cleaning up the poop of course); be brave and step outside yourself and volunteer doing something you love and create a family of like minded people in your surrounding community.
If you have done any of those by the end of the day – then success! Because here it is – Success isn’t something you achieve, it’s something you create right here, right now.
It’s not rocket science. If you put a big airy-fairy image in your head as to what the end marker of success is and only focus on that, you will miss out. You will be too wrapped up in worrying about achieving that one big goal to ever enjoy the magical moments of success that you can create now.
In the words of The Eagles “You may lose and you may win but you never be here again”, the success is being here.
And a little motivation to get you started